Consider a bowl that contains two types of (identical looking) cheerios - poisoned and non-poisoned. It doesn't matter how many are poisoned (many or few), since knowing that even one poisoned cheerio exists in the bowl, all the cheerios are suspect. No right thinking person would eat such a breakfast every morning - and those who are particularly wise would avoid cheerios for breakfast altogether.

If we insist that the bible contains errors, it really doesn't matter how many errors we imagine are in it, since the very existence of any error in the bible makes the whole bible suspect. If we contend that there are errors in scripture, then we are free to believe whatever we think is true, and discard whatever we feel is false. If we pick and choose what to believe in this way our faith ultimately rests in our own ability to select what is true. If we are honest with ourselves we will see that the bible must be believed or rejected - failure to discard it entirely when we refuse to believe any part of it is intellectually dishonest.

Unless we establish a mutual source for truth this discussion will be pointless. If you dear reader do not believe that the bible is accurate or true there will be no common basis for any dialog on the matter.

In my own experience, I used to believe that the bible was a loose collection of writings that were arbitrarily collected by a group of monks in some monastery hundreds of years after Christ. I believed that this group selected the writings they most agreed with and bound them together in a tome we know as the bible. The writings they didn't like they discarded. Likewise I thought that the bible transmission resembled that game we all played as children where we get into a circle and the first person whispers something into the ear of the person beside them who passes it on in kind to the next person such that whatever was originally spoken is entirely misrepresented or absent by the time it comes back to the original speaker. So I imagined it was with the bible. Slapped together arbitrarily, then transmitted haphazardly at best. The bible I held in my hands was certainly full of errors.

But I was challenged to research the history of the bible, and in doing so I learned that my presumptions were outlandish and painfully naive at best. The reality is that nothing in the history of the world has been more carefully guarded than the transmission of scripture. Monks didn't sit together and arbitrarily publish a bible and deliver it to the church hundreds of years after Christ, but each book in the new testament was being circulated independently between the many churches. The "New Testament" was in circulation from the get go, and while it wasn't formally wrapped up and called the "New Testament" until a few hundred years after the church was established - nevertheless if the official "bible" wasn't established until a few hundred years after Christ's death - the books of the new testament were certainly recognized as scripture from the very start and it was these that were circulated as scripture that were eventually "canonized" into what we now call the "New Testament"

Furthermore, my notion that much had been lost in transmission was entirely unfounded. The bibles we read today are translated from manuscripts - some of which date back to the first century. Modern translations are not (as I imagined) simply revised renditions of previous renditions, but are translated directly from the Greek texts found in the ancient manuscripts that are still available to us today. There are over 5400 ancient Greek texts in existence today that contain in whole or in part, the texts of the new testament. Compare that with the six copies we have of say the Iliad, and we get a picture of how impressive that number really is. Even atheists can be quite certain that the biblical text we read today is virtually identical to the text as it was penned when the new testament was originally written.

Given then that (contrary to the common opinion) the bible hasn't been watered down over time, we cannot (if we are honest scholars) dismiss it as an "inaccurate" rendering of the original thought. Nor can we dismiss it as an arbitrary collection - since history demonstrates that the choice of which books were considered scripture was anything but arbitrary.

If we cannot dismiss the bible under the common pretenses, we are free to accept it as our authority on questions about God, and in particular we can regard the bible as our authority on the question "how does one become a Christian?"

The first question we should reasonably ask is "Why should I become a Christian?" In today's world the gospel - that is, the good news about Jesus Christ, is being sold in the marketplace. People will tell you that you should become a Christian so that you can experience love, joy, peace, contentment with you job, a great marriage, etc. etc. They sell you in saying God wants you to have a wonderful life, and will say all manner of things to try to convince you that becoming a Christian is the best thing that could ever happen to you.

The bible however doesn't sell the gospel like that. In fact it doesn't sell it at all.

Before we continue, you ought to read the gospels - and if you haven't ever believed that they were true, read them believing - believe it all. If God is lying about anything in the gospels He is lying about everything in the gospels. If you haven't got a bible you can go online and read the bible here. You may not read them all, but if you do you will likely find many of the things you have heard about Christianity are false or twisted. Matthew 23:9 for instance teaches that we are not supposed to call any man on earth "father" - yet don't "Christians" call their "priests" father? Matthew 6:7 instructs us not to pray repetitious prayers - but don't Christians pray the same prayers over and over again when praying with prayer beads such as a "rosary"? Likewise isn't Mary supposed to be sinless - yet doesn't she calls Jesus her "Savior" in Luke 1:47?

The first time I read the bible and believed it, I have to tell you, it was entirely a different experience than reading it as a skeptic. After reading even the gospels, I was amazed at how many things I saw being done in churches that were directly contrary to what the bible said. You will no doubt experience something similar when you read the gospels.

According to the bible the first man that God created was Adam and out of Adam He then formed Eve. God placed them in a garden paradise and gave them instructions to follow, which they did not follow. Their disobedience allowed "sin" to enter into the world. God's punishment for sin is death - both physical and spiritual. Adam and Even died spiritually the moment they sinned and immediately began to age - that is while they weren't struck dead physically, they did begin to die physically.

Physical death is one thing - but it is also something that we are all familiar with - and certainly needs no explanation here. Spiritual death on the other hand is the forfeiture of life in the presence of God - that is, spiritual death means that you are no longer able to live in God's presence. Now to be more exacting - Adam and Eve were made in God's image - and God is, according to scripture, an eternal being. It is fair to reason therefore that the image in which Adam and Eve were created came with eternal souls. We reason therefore that when our physical body dies our souls will live on. If we sin in this life, God cannot abide our souls, and it is understood that we cannot therefore go to heaven - not that we would really want to, since if we didn't want anything to do with God in this life, why would we suddenly expect to want to be with him when we die.

We note as well that God didn't create a special place for "sinners" per se, but scripture tells us that God did create a place for the angels who rebelled (that is, Satan and the angels who followed him in rebelling against God). This place of eternal damnation is called "hell" and the bible describes it as a place of torment. Those who rebel against God, whether they be angels, or men, can expect to find themselves in hell one day.

Now if you are like I was, you might have a sort of "works" based mentality - that is, I believed that there was a cosmic scale and as long as the good things I did outweighed the bad things I did, I would go to heaven. It was a simple system and seemed to make sense. I hadn't killed or raped anyone, I hardly ever stole, and I was more or less a "live and let live" kind of guy. I wasn't sure if I was going to get to heaven when I died - I hoped so, because hell sounded awful - but I had no reason to presume I was going to go to hell either. My presumption was that since God was obviously a nice guy, he would be merciful to me since I was more or less a nice guy. Ultimately however, I felt that no one could know whether or not they were going to go to heaven when they died - it was a question (I thought) that only God could answer.

Scripture however doesn't paint that picture.

The bible teaches that all I need to do in order to "earn" a place in hell, is to sin - even once. God set the standard to enter into His presence at being "perfect" and anyone who is less than perfect will not go to heaven - no matter how slight the "stain." This is an inescapable truth that is taught throughout all of scripture. In fact the prophet Isaiah records that even the things that we do that are "good" by our standards are in fact tainted and "unclean" according to God's standards - not the general good things we do - but the best of our best efforts are not considered "good" enough. Into this certainty the idea of scales holding our good deeds on one side and our bad deeds on the other would actually play out this way: all our deeds; good, mediocre, and bad - would be put on the "bad" side, and there would be nothing on the "good" side. Everyone's scales would look like this - not just for killers and rapists, but also the Mother Theresa's and Ghandi's of the world. All our good "works" are dismissed by God as worthless. That is what scripture teaches.

Now that isn't me making up stuff or painting a grim picture. That is what the bible teaches. The bible says that no person is righteous, not even one (Romans 3:10), and that everyone of us is a sinner (Romans 3:23).

Knowing that the bible teaches that all people are sinners might not convince some people that they are a sinner. I know in my own case I knew that I had sinned, but I held out some hope that I might get to heaven anyway - but as I looked at the ten commandments I began to ask myself if I had ever been able to keep even one of them.

The first commandment is not to worship other God's. At first I thought I was okay - I didn't worship any other God that I knew of. I did believe in "karma" I suppose, and was a little superstitious about omens and whatnot. You know, if I saw three ravens in the same day I thought there was something spiritually significant about it - maybe the raven was my totem spirit or something? I never really gave it a serious thought - but my superstitions did influence my behavior. Perhaps I was guilty? I wasn't sure.

The second commandment was similar to the first - don't make engraven images and worship them. I knew for sure that I wasn't going home at night and worshipping little metal trinkets - so I felt pretty safe on this one.

The third commandment was not to take God's name in vain. Hmmm. Well if that meant that I wasn't supposed to use God's name as though it were a cuss word. Okay, here I was guilty. I had often used the name of Jesus Christ as a colorful inflection in my speech. Likewise each time I invoked God to damn something for me I didn't consider that I was using God's name in an empty (vain) way. I was clearly a sinner on this account if that is what it meant.

Yet what if it meant not to associate myself with the name of God (to take his name as it were) and then act in a way that does not reflect God's character? Surely in times past I had identified myself as a "Christian" when I was no such thing. I thought that I was a Christian because I thought Christianity was just some choice you made - you know - you pick a religion that you like, and then start calling yourself an adherant. It helps you to check off the right box on some forms you have to fill out. In that way I supposed I had also taken the Lord's name in vain - causing me to be certainly guilty on this count.

The fourth commandment was to keep the Sabbath day holy. At first I thought this was talking about Sunday - since that is the day all the Christians go to church. Then later I discovered it was actually Saturday. Not that it truly mattered, I hadn't kept Sunday holy, and I -certainly- hadn't kept Saturday holy. Guilty.

The fifth commandment is to honor your father and your mother. Well, I mean I wasn't a bad kid, but I did hate my father with a passion, and I had no respect for my mother. Frankly as far as I was concerned they deserved my attitude. Had they been less self involved perhaps I would have loved and respected them a little more. I mean I loved them of course, I just didn't want to be with them for more than a couple of minutes at a time. I certainly didn't want to obey them or revere them, and I used every opportunity given to me to complain about them. I suppose I wasn't really honoring them. One thing was certain - I wasn't going to be supporting them when they started getting old - they would be lucky to get a Christmas card! Okay, I didn't honor them.

The sixth commandment is not to murder. Finally, a commandment I was certain I hadn't broken. Well, there was the time my girlfriend got the abortion, but she made that decision without consulting me. Had she consulted me I would have supported the decision - but hey, I never got the chance. So yup, I was clean on this one. Except that Jesus said hating someone is the same to God as murder - that is, all I have to do to be guilty of murder is to hate someone. I know I have hated people. Hmmmm.

The seventh commandment is not to commit adultery. I have to hang my head low here. I had in fact slept with a person who was separated from her spouse. As far as I was concerned at the time it was okay - I wasn't hurting anyone - their marriage was over and both of us wanted to engage one another in this way. But scripture says that God hates divorce and that anyone who sleeps with a divorced person commits adultery. Apparently God doesn't respect our redefinition of what constitutes being married... Funny thing is, even when I was intellectually convinced that nothing was wrong with what I was doing - yet I knew in my conscience it was wrong - really, I knew I was guilty on this one.

Eight: You shall not steal - okay, I was stealing things from the cradle and onwards. If I knew I could get away with it I would steal just about anything. Guilty.

Nine: You shall not bear false witness. That means not to lie about the way something happened. I exaggerate all the time - not so much lying, but just stretching the truth to make it more funny or interesting. It is not bearing witness to the truth however, and so I am guilty of this as well. Really, I have given false reports to save my hide more than once at work - who am I kidding? Guilty.

Ten: Do not desire to possess your neighbor's wife, your neighbor's servant, his ox, his donkey - or in fact anything that is his. Not the guy living next door - but your neighbor as in "everyone and anyone else on the earth." The commandment is to not want anything that is rightly someone else's. I was guilty of this from the cradle as well. If my sister got an ice cream - I wanted one too. If my friend (or my enemy for that matter) has a good job and a nice house - I want them too - in fact, I want to be rich like the richest man in all the world. Guilty of course.

The commandments of God, or so scripture teaches us, are given to us not so that we can keep them and go to heaven - since scripture tells us that no one is able to keep all of them all the time - that is, no one gets to go to heaven by "being good" - the commandments are given to reveal to us something about ourselves that we may not be willing to admit - these commandments demonstrate that we are not "good" people according to God's standard - but that we are sinners.

The penalty for sin is not a slap on the hand, and quick pardon, and entry into heaven. The bible says that the penalty for sin is death - that is both spiritual (hell) and physical (mortal death).

This information made it easy for me to know whether I was going to heaven or hell if I dropped dead right now. Without a doubt I would be going directly to hell. It isn't that God isn't merciful, it is that I sinned against Him and there is only one penalty for sin. It makes no difference how many times I sinned, as long as I sinned even once - even if the rest of my life was flawless - I was still condemned. Adam was condemned for his first and only sin. Likewise the amount of sin in my life doesn't matter - I am condemned to hell because I sinned even once.

So you too dear reader must grasp this truth. If you have ever sinned even once the bible states clearly that you are condemned to hell. You need not look further than scripture to be sure of that. If God is just he cannot simply overlook your sin, it must be punished. God says through the prophet Ezekiel "...the soul who sins he shall die." (Ezekiel 18:20)

Now when I understood that I was actually condemned - that is, that I wasn't maybe going to go to heaven, but was absolutely certain that if the bible was true I was most certainly going to go to hell if I died... well, I began to look for a way out.

What about Jesus and all that? Isn't God all loving now? You're talking about that Old Testament god - the fire and brimstone One with all the plagues of Egypt and whatnot. Didn't Jesus come and set things right? Isn't God a little more amiable today?

I didn't understand that while Jesus was the perfect reflection of God's character here on earth - I thought that God in the Old Testament was harsh and cold, but Jesus was all nice and forgiving. I didn't come to this opinion through reading scripture - it was just what I had heard others say, and having nothing in my understanding to contradict such a notion - I believed it as well.

Scripture tells us however that Jesus came to earth for a reason - but that reason will make no sense to a person until they understand that they are utterly condemned by their own sin. Until we realize with utter certainty that we are definitely, and inescapably going to hell and that there is nothing on earth we can do to change that fact - until we understand that our condemnation is written in stone letters five thousand feet tall: "You are most certainly going to go to hell if you die right now." - until we truly believe that we are condemned we will never be able to believe we need to be saved from it.

Why is that understanding so important. Why must I understand that I am a sinner doomed and destined for hell?

The reason is because Jesus came to earth to save "sinners" - and until you accept the guilt for your sin - that is, until you agree that you are guilty of sin and that God is just in pouring out his eternal wrath for your treason, you cannot be saved from God's wrath.

Notice I didn't say be saved from hell? We hear the term "saved" used a lot in Christian circles, but we often imagine that we are saved from "hell" - not so. What Christians are saved from is not hell - they are saved from God's righteous wrath. That same wrath is what makes hell, well, "hellish" - but make no mistake, the salvation one seeks is to be saved from God and not from hell. God is your maker, and you have rebelled against him - you even hate him because he is going to punish you for your sins. You think he is unfair (at best), and frankly, if you were honest with yourself if you could destroy God and live forever, you wouldn't hesitate to do it in a second. You are, for lack of a better phrase - God's enemy. You may imagine yourself as indifferent, but in reality your rejection of God, your enmity towards Him and His commandments, and your continued sin and desire to continue sinning mark you not only as a sinner, but as a willful sinner who actively rejects and hates the God who created you.

Not a pretty picture - but it is universally common. That is how I was, and dear reader, that is how you are. I know because I was just like you, hell bound and full of hate.

Now I use these terms because they are accurate, and not because they are pleasant. If you disagree, read the bible cover to cover and see for yourself that I am not making up stuff. This is what God Himself says about us. That we hate him, and we are His willing enemy. We truly do deserve God's wrath.

Surely you know what it feels like to be wrongly used? You know, when the teacher thought you were cheating and called you out for it - only you weren't cheating. How you had a sense of righteous indignation? You know that feeling don't you - when you have a right to be offended because you are really on moral high ground. God gave you the ability to feel that - so that you will have no excuse on judgment day when the one who created you calls you to task for your continued and unrepentant rebellion. God deserves your worship and service by virtue of having created you for just that purpose. He stands on that moral high ground and is rightly offended by your rebellion, your treason, your sin. Your rejection of God warrants God's wrath - you deserve it.

Okay, I think you get the picture.

So what then, I am going to hell? What about all those Christians who say they are saved - how can I be saved if I am a sinner?

Here is where I have some "good news" for you. God is willing not only to save you from Himself, if you are willing to be saved, but also from sin's power in your life.

You see, inside you, that is, in your flesh is something alien. You weren't made to disobey God, but to obey him. This part of you that rejects God's rule over your life is called in scripture "the sin" - it came into the world through Adam, and is the part of you that is producing death (separation from God). It is the reason that no matter how good you try and be, you ultimately cannot be good, because at your very core lies "the sin." In order to obey God, "the sin" has to be dealt with.

Okay, you say - suppose I am convinced now that I am a sinner, that I am going to hell, and that I am a slave to this sin thing inside me. What can I do?

Well first thing is you need to understand that God is just. He cannot promise eternal punishment for sin and not deliver it. That means that your sins -MUST- be punished, there is no getting around that. So how can God punish your sins and spare you from His wrath at the same time?

The answer is what we call the gospel.

God knew even before He created Adam that Adam would sin, and that He would therefore have to send Adam away from Himself - the source of life - this separation from God being a spiritual death - a separation from life that we were born into. All of mankind is condemned, born "spiritually dead" - that is born into a world wherein that has already been separated from the only source of life.

In anticipation of this sin and its consequences, God determined before hand to send Jesus Christ, His own Son, to earth - to come and be born as a person, to live as a perfectly obedient man in whom God could find no offense. At the end of this same life, God's Son, Jesus Christ would take into Himself the lives of everyone who truly called on the name of God for salvation. God would then poured out His wrath in full upon those whom Christ took into Himself, though God's wrath would be absorbed by Christ so that those who were in Christ wouldn't have to experience God's wrath. Christ would offer Himself as a holy vessel for sinners - He would take them to punishment, but absorb God's wrath in their stead such that everyone who would truly call on the Lord would be saved from sin's consequences. In this way God would redeem everyone who was willing to admit that they were sinners, and were willing to turn away from rebellion against God, and look to be reconciled instead by turning to God in faith and calling on name of Jesus Christ to save them from their sin.

Jesus did exactly that. He was born of a virgin named Mary - that is, He had no earthly father. The Holy Spirit impregnated Mary - not through some sort of spiritual sex or anything vulgar - rather Mary's womb received Christ, but Christ Himself was conceived of the Holy Spirit - that is, God in the person of the Holy Spirit came to earth and caused a virgin named Mary to conceive a child. This child was Jesus - and He, being God on earth, lived without sinning even once. He came and fulfilled hundreds of prophesies given beforehand to the Jewish people - as a testimony and sign to all of mankind that -this- really was God's chosen Messiah (anointeded One). Though Jesus was innocent of all crime, the religious Jews of his day hated him and plotted His demise. They seized Him and delivered Him to the Romans and demanded that the Romans put Jesus to death - which the Romans did.

Though Jesus was entirely innocent, He willingly offered up His life in this way - being sinless He offered His own life to God to bear God's wrath in our stead on account of our sin. That is, Christ offered to bear God's wrath for the sins of those who willingly turn from their sins and call on Christ to save them from God's wrath. A simple formula really - Christ bears us in Himself - and therefore "our sins," God pours His wrath on our sins (and therefore on Christ), and something amazing happens - the righteous life that Christ lived - that is, the "righteousness of Christ" is imputed to all who are in Christ on the cross - that is, imputed to all who, not only believe that Jesus is the Son of God, but also have faith that Jesus would indeed bear their sins on the cross if they asked Him too. Every sin that was in Christ on the cross was punished by God so that God no longer regards the sinner as being unjust - since the penalty was paid. Even the bleak and dark sins that were on the cross - these were punished in Christ. The person who is in Chirst is regarded by God as though he or she were just as righteous and sinless as Jesus Christ had been.

The moment a person gives up on trying to please God by doing good; the moment a person gives up on hoping for the best; the moment a person gives up trying to get to heaven on their own dime - and instead turns and places all their faith in Jesus and His finished work on the cross - at that very moment Jesus accepts them into the "body of Christ" - that is, into the congregation of believers - they are planted into the church by Christ personally - at that moment we say that the person is "saved" - saved from sin and all its consequences.

You are a sinner, and the bible makes it plain that there is no other way for you to be saved from God's wrath except through faith in Christ. Not just believing that Jesus was God, came to earth and was born a man, then died on a cross as a sacrifice for sin to appease God's wrath - you must also believe that Jesus is going to save --you-- just because you are are willing to put your faith in Him to do so.

There is no magic mantra to pray in order to affect this salvation. All you need to do is admit to yourself and God that you are a sinner, and that you are not going to trust in your own righteousness to save you - but that you know you deserve hell, but are calling on Christ to save you from God's wrath. You just sit down and talk to God and tell him the truth - you want forgiveness for living in constant and utter rebellion, and that you want to stop running away from God, and turn instead towards Him in obedience. You prayerfully submit yourself to trust him to deliver you from sin and place your hope entirely in Him.

When I spoke to God I told him the truth - that I didn't have faith - that I dearly wanted to believe, but that I was a horrible skeptic and that I couldn't clench my fist or grit my teeth hard enough to make faith suddenly appear where there was none. I wept my heart out to God and finally stood on this one verse - it is in the book Romans, chapter ten and verse seventeen, it says that faith comes by hearing the words of Christ.

I committed myself to Christ in the same way a ship one commits a ship to the storm by cutting loose the anchor and sails - it is a "no turning back" kind of commitment - and that is the kind of commitment I made to Christ. I can't promise you that mouthing empty words to God is going to do anything for you - but I can say that I spoke honestly to God - I didn't think I could be a "perfect" Christian - but that I was going to put my faith entirely in Him to save me. I knew I didn't have much faith, but what little faith I had I gave entirely over to that truth - that Christ was going to save me. Wasn't that what the scriptures had said - that Jesus came and died for sinners? -I- was a sinner - and I reasoned that I probably wasn't the first person to be "saved" so while a part of me felt that I was maybe "doing it wrong" somehow - yet another part assured me that if Jesus saved people, I am sure an honest desire and request to be saved by Him would suffice - whether I could do it in perfect English, or inarticulate sobs - surely the God who created my being was more than able to know my request thoroughly. I could trust that Jesus really came and died for me.

So you too sinner - If you want to become a Christian - stop trying to, or imagining that you can get to, heaven by being good. Instead talk to Jesus about it. If your not sure - read the bible and believe it. God sent Jesus into this world to save sinners - you qualify. If you talk to God and place your faith in Christ and the promises of God - you too will become a Christian. It isn't some checkbox you fill out on a form, it is trust in God based on the clearly stated promises of God.

It doesn't matter what you pray - surely mutes can be saved from God's wrath even though a prayer never comes out of their mouth. All that matters is that you settle it with God personally. You cannot ride someone else's shirt tail into heaven. You must go to God and admit you are a sinner, and that you deserve God's wrath, and that you are willing to receive the free offer of salvation that God has given by placing your faith in Jesus Christ to be your righteousness before God.

When you do that, you become a Christian - that is, God fulfills His promise, and sends the Holy Spirit to live within you. The Holy Spirit is your helper and your comforter. He is a person though you won't be able to fellowship with him until you deal with the remaining sin in your life. His entire ministry in your life is going to be the manifesting of Christ in you. You will become more sensitive to sin - you won't want to sin, and when you do you will want to "make it right."

The first thing a new Christian should do is start to read the bible. An hour a day is a good pace. There are plenty of good versions - I prefer the English Standard Version (ESV), New American Standard Bible (NASB) or a New King James Version (NKJV). Other bibles are not as literal - that is, they tend to chew your food for you, which isn't always good. Better to have a more literal translation to begin with. Read the whole thing. Knowing the word of God is the only thing that is going to protect you from believing lies and old wives tales about what is pleasing to God.

The second thing you should do is get ready to deal with sin.

As I mentioned above the ministry of the Holy Spirit in your life is going to be all about preparing you to fellowship with God in the here and now. You cannot fellowship with God if you do not obey the Spirit of God who comes to live within you the moment you are saved. Yet it is going to happen -- you -will- sin, because you have sinned all your life.

If you have a glass bottle, and you fill it up with copper wires - so many that they start to take the shape of the bottle - even when you break that bottle the wire retains the shape of the bottle. So it will be with you - you will have a sin habit. Many things will change, but you will be a sinner by habit, and it may take some time to break those habits. During this time it is easy to get discouraged or confused - you might imagine that you somehow made a mistake and "didn't get saved right" - but the truth is you are just a baby Christian, and like all babies, you are still quite weak in your faith. You need to find other evangelical Christians who can answer questions and provide instruction during your early walk with the Lord.

If you want to know "how" to behave as a Christian - the epistles of Paul are a great place to start reading - The book of Romans, Ephesians, Galatians, Colossians, etc. are quite instructional. Likewise the book of 1 John is good if you are having doubts. But you really do need to find a congregation of other believers - other people who have turned to Christ.

I caution you finally because not everyone who calls themselves a Christian is actually a Christian. Those who are trusting Christ and Christ alone to save them from sin - these are genuine believers. Typically we call such Christians "evangelicals" - my advice - try a "reformed baptist" church.

If you decided not to become a Christian - make sure you understood the gospel - it may be that later on in life you will change your mind. I encourage you of course, not to roll the dice on this. If God has been gracious to you and singled you out to hear the gospel - don't thumb your nose at it.